Many of us become aware that what we tend to think about the most seems to become a huge part of our reality. This shouldn't be anything new to someone that has been practicing the way of happiness and law of attraction techniques for awhile. But why does it work that way? What mechanism is in play when we set a goal, write it down, and start on the path toward achieving it?
I believe that just focusing on what we want causes our subconscious to somehow provide opportunities for us, even without us sometimes consciously knowing about them. This is why so many successful people trust their "instincts" when it comes to solving problems and finding new opportunities. They just know that somehow, something will pop up in the nick of time to lead them through any situation. Why? They are focused on what they want, and as long as they stay focused they know they will find a way. Confidence? Sure, that's part of it. Belief in one's self to always come through is also a part of it. But the focus is always there, day and night, on what they want to accomplish.
So if successful people focus so much on what they want, what in the world do "unsuccessful" people focus on? Well, in most cases they focus on what is going wrong in their lives. Not how to fix it, or get into a better situation, but the very fact that things just aren't working out right now. If you talk to them, most of the time they will tell you that "no matter what I do, it just doesn't work!". This is usually because they don't focus on a solution, or a better way to do the things they want to accomplish. They focus on what isn't working, and they get more of the same. Does that sound like anyone you know? It's hard to watch this happen to someone, isn't it. But what is the solution, if the person has the habit of focusing on the bad stuff?
Like any bad habit, in order to break it you first have to be conscious that you are doing it. Then, once you realize you are doing it, break yourself from this thinking by using a technique called "changing state", or breaking out of the persistent thought process, by doing something to break the pattern. As soon as you realize that problem has presented itself and you are going into your old "this always happens to me" pattern of thinking, just close your eyes and repeat something like "I can fix this, it's only temporary", or "I'm bigger than my problems", or something to that effect.
Once you do that several times, you will begin to find yourself re-focusing on a solution instead of just the problem. You will literally become bigger than any problem, and soon will be changing course entirely. This is a big step towards setting goals and becoming a solution provider, or problem solver, instead of one of resigns himself to his problems. Try it, break the pattern and start focusing on what you really want in life instead of, well, you know...